Floating.

Dear P.Diary,

Today was a pretty mellow day. I think my parents understand that i need to go out and have fresh air.. which is a good thing! i have a way with korean words. I went to Fullerton, where me and my friend's family ate at Souplantation! it was delish. :] then played tennis after how many months?! In the car ride home though, i started having all these ideas about the future. Not in the sense of my future, but the future in general. What would things look like?

I wish i could go sit on a rock next to a river right now. I want to hear the water running down. Or i want to go canoeing at night! LOL i'd probably get eaten by some creature. haha. I want to glide across a great amount of water, while in the moonlight. Seems cool at the moment. I feel like being at complete peace.

what do you want to do?

-Amy

BOOKNERD.

Dear P.Diary,

I'm pretty content, even though i have no texting, no social life, and no freedom. i'm okay! and i find it kind of weird that i'm calm with this situation because i'm usually not like this. So anyways, i'm reading Hamlet, and it's pretty cool.. not to sound like a book nerd .. but there are cool ideas in here. I have so much SAT work to do and on top of that, i have Theory of Knowledge's Extended Essay to work... scratch that.. START on! and revise other essays that will be sent away senior year. i'm just gonna keep rolling by. It doesn't matter what you were in life, or how much money you made, or Who you were, to me, it matters how you lived your life.

I just felt like writing this blog but i barely have anything to say except that i'm content at the moment, probably because i'm reading Hamlet. Books keep me distracted from my enslaved life.

-Amy

sadness.

Dear P.Diary,

The road i'm walking on is getting smaller and thinner. The once happy, sunshine path i took is changing it's course into a sad, gloomy spiraling path downward. I fear that this road i take is going to disappear if i don't do anything about it , or at least get help. I need a miracle. I wear a mask everyday so that people don't seen the person inside of me that's hurting. I lie to myself that i'm happy when i'm really not. If you lie enough it becomes true. However, no matter how much i tell myself i'm happy and content, i'm really not. I want to go to a mountain and just sit on a rock, serenity.

hopefully i find another path while i'm on this one.

-Amy

Random

Dear P.Diary,

So basically i went over my usual texting amount so my messaging plan got taken away.

whatever. i lived well before it.. it's not a necessity.

anywho.. i don't really know what to write about. i think i want to go shopping tomarrow. but i probably won't be able to.

summer is a time of flowy floral printed chiffon tanks and dresses. that's what i always think of. with hair that is just let loose to go wild and crazy under the sun.

i want to go to the beach and feel the warm sand slip between my toes. then walking on the wet sand where the water comes and goes.

i wish i owned an island so that could be my getaway.
i need an escape from this world. and things of this world. i could care less about the world.

life in the world is only temporary.

i'm pretty much writing of random stuff that pops into my head because i felt like posting however i didn't know what to write about.

Metamorphosis.

Dear Public Diary,

I'm clueless about what i want to do for the rest of my life. How do people expect us teenagers to have a plan that we'll carry through our life? Life is unexpected. You never know what could happen. Seriously, you never know.

I want to end my high school STRONG.

begin weak and end strong. i wish colleges would see the journey i made.
It's not about what grades you got. After all grades don't mark your life.You don't get grades at your job. I believe high school is a preparation for general education in college, or even early experimentation in fields of your interests. It's all for the developing of an individual.

It's about the journey to where you get. How one grows as a person. How one sees himself or herself changing.

catepillar to butterfly.

metamorphosis .

- Amy

Dreamin'

I want to dance in a floral chiffon dress in a garden, to classical music.

I want to pick daisies and lay in the field all day.

i want to find shapes in the clouds.

i want to sit on a beach and just listen to the waves hit the shore.

i want to have a cup of citrius tea in a lush garden.

I want to walk around aimlessly without worry of what i have to do.

i want to live life without worries or doubts.

i want freedom.

I'm dreaming all day and night.

broken wishes and mirrors.

Dear Public Diary,

I feel like giving up. I feel like nothing in the world matters to me anymore.

Lately i only care about basic necessities like food and clothing.

I wish i could become a musician.

I wish i could have a million dollars. wth would i do with that anyways?

I wish i could go on a boat and just row out into the ocean until i can't see land.

I wish i could go on top of a mountain and yell until my voice runs out.

i have so many wishes that'll probably never come true.

all i can do is just survive on earth. although most of my wishes don't come true, i should at least put on a mask that covers my sadness.

who do i see in the mirror? i don't know sometimes i feel like i'm looking at a face i do not know.

who do you see in the mirror?